THE FAT SPY is not a James Bond 007 parody, but a strange beach party teen exploitation flick with mediocre music. It's different from the AIP productions in that the adults are the primary characters and the teens are secondary. The film begins suddenly with two teenagers on a pier singing an acoustic rock song, "People Sure Act Funny When They Get A Little Money". Their performance is filmed and recorded live and goes on for too long. One of the turtlenecked longhaired teens plays guitar and the other plays harmonica. It abruptly ends and a cartoon-style opening credits starts with the bouncy title tune.
Off the coast of Florida is an island reputed to have the Fountain of Eternal Youth. A boatload of teenagers go there for a scavenger hunt. The island is owned by wealthy tycoon George Wellington (Brian Donlevy) who runs "The House of Wellington" cosmetics company. He disapproves of the young intruders and sends his daughter Junior Wellington (Jayne Mansfield) and her nerdy scientist lover Irving Gonjular (Jack E. Leonard) to stop them. He tells her, "Whoever those teenagers are, I want them driven back to the sea."
Irving's twin brother Herman, also played by Leonard, and his girlfriend Camille Salamander (Phyllis Diller) also go to the island with their own agenda. Herman is the "Fat Spy" of the title. Camille's real name is Rapunzel Fingernail. Herman lovingly admires Camille: "Ah, but your eyes, they're so beautiful. Where did you get those eyes?" Camille replies, "They came with the head." Camille beats her masochistic Sikh servant Punjab (Lou Nelson) with a riding crop.
When Junior discovers Camille and Herman's plan to steal the Fountain of Youth, she is tied to a huge machine in the basement. Camille says, "She knows too much, Herman. She must be destroyed...Get a bomb. A big bomb!" Herman replies, "When I turn this knob, her fate will be sealed and our secret wil be safe forever." Camille shoots back, "That knob? That's the air conditioning." There are subplots involving spies as well as the Fountain of Youth and the teenagers. Nanette (Lauree Berger) and Frankie (Jordan Christopher) are the equivalent of Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon and the young couple have a secret that is not revealed until the film's end.
Dodo Bronk (Johnny Tillotson) floats alone in a small inflatable boat, sings a song about loneliness, then meets blonde mermaid Naiomi (Toni Lee Shelly). "Lift up your tail" he says as he helps her into the boat. Later he is alone on the beach, sings a song, then hears the mermaid imploring him to join her. Dodo wades into the ocean, his fate unknown.
Herman sneaks Camille into the Wellington corporate headquarters to use the computer to find the location of the Fountain of Youth. The computer discloses that it is a twin-headed black rose. Herman and Camille eat a rose and turn into kids in diapers. Then the twist ending is revealed, involving the last rose and Frankie and Nanette. Irving looks into the camera and exclaims, "Boy, this is some picture."
The cast also includes: The Wild Ones (themselves), Penny Roman, Adam Keefe, Richard Green, Chuck Alden, Tommy Graves, Linda Harrison, Jeanette Taylor, Tommy Trick, Tracy Vance, Deborah White, and Eddie Wright. Music is by Chuck Alden, Jordan Christopher, Joel Hirschhorn, Hank Hunter, and Al Kasha. Mathew Andrews wrote the script and Joseph Cates directed.
File this movie under "So Bad It's Good". Turkey time! It is featured in the documentary THE 50 WORST MOVIES EVER MADE (2004). Barely released to theatres in 1966, it was rarely watched until the 1990's when it lapsed into the public domain and became readily and cheaply available. It will be enjoyed by lovers of camp and low budget B films. Others should avoid it, although it compares well with Beach Blanket type exploitation movies.
Jayne Mansfield's singing is not very good (but better than Diller's and Leonard's) when she sings, "I'd Like to be a Rose in Your Garden". Jordan Christopher backed by the Wild Ones is a decent singer. He sings, "Wild Way of Living", "People Sure Act Funny", and "Everyone Do the Turtle" (said to be the "slowest dance you'll ever do"). Stock film footage and vacuous lines such as "Gee, can I sing my song now?" fill the film and there are also dancing scenes with teenagers as well as Diller and Leonard. Comedienne Phyllis Diller is good. Jack E. Leonard is less so, unappealing, and tries too hard. Jayne Mansfield gives a good breathy dumb blonde performance.
FAT SPY was filmed in Cape Coral, Florida in June and July, 1965 on a lake that substituted for an ocean beach. The movie ends with promises of three sequels that were never made. Jayne Mansfield, a year before her death, was over five months pregnant with her fifth child (son Antonio Raphael Ottaviano aka Tony Cimber). Her pregnancy certainly changes her famous curvaceous figure. Mansfield is very beautiful with a gorgeous body, but her waist is not thin and it's distracting. She doesn't look pregnant or over-weight, but you can't help wondering why the pink goddess doesn't go on a diet or go to the gym.
